6 WAYS TO SPOIL YOUR VALENTINE

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I’m not sure if you’ll agree with me or not, but I think it is safe to say that the larger part of the population has struggled through at least on Valentine’s Day. There are so very many expectations placed on us with this holiday. Perhaps, much of that is due to the commercialization surrounding it in our society.

I, personally, think that the grandest gesture one can make for their significant other on this special day is to lift the pressure of ‘coming through’ for them in some way. Whatever way would hold significance for them. Which, incidentally often eludes their partner!

The only elements that I consider essential to the day are a loving, warm attitude, a pleasant and inviting atmosphere, and if its conducive to the celebration, a little (or more than a little) bit of the power of suggestion.

These elements can be as simple or elaborate as both parties prefer. But they do a great deal to set the mood for a celebration of mutual love ❤

I’ve put together a list of 6 different suggestions for the perfect Valentine’s celebration. I think you’ll find them useful. The only goals I had in mind while assembling this list was that they be easy and straight forward. With a flexible price tag attached to them. So that they can fit absolutely any budget from dollar store to Tiffany’s!

So … here goes!

In no particular order …

ASK ~ THAT’S RIGHT. ASK YOUR VALENTINE WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

I recall one of my favorite professors in college, who was a couples councilor, telling us that one of the most common things he hears in sessions is, “He never brings me flowers anymore”. Sounds pretty cliché, right? No matter. It was so commonplace in his counseling space that he had a prefab way of approaching the subject.

He would respond by asking when the last time was that they told their partner they would like to receive flowers.

It may all seem pretty simple. But, if you just take a minute to consider it, you will see that it is a precise representation of every day lack of communication in human relationships. We assume the other person knows what we want. And when they don’t. We interpret it as an intentional act of indifference.

With that thought in mind … it might be nice to just ask your significant other what they want for Valentine’s Day. Ask them how they want to celebrate. And allow their answer to be enough for you. If it falls way short of your own expectations and desires, than perhaps you can set up a trade-off system. Do it their way this year. And do it your way next year. Problem solved 😉

KEEP IT CLASSIC ~ DINNER, FLOWERS, CANDY, MOVIES ~ MAKE RELIEVING THE PRESSURE YOUR GIFT TO EACH OTHER

If both you and your partner are on board with an old-fashioned Valentine’s day celebration, keeping it classic may be the easiest way for you to go.

Dinner, flowers, and candy are pretty traditional ways to acknowledge the holiday. And they can be as elaborate or as laid back as you choose. Just remember to choose together.

When you’ve finished your dinner, you can head out dancing, go to a movie, or head home to play board games. Or you can just call it a night. Which may be a preferred option for those with young families.

TREAT ONE ANOTHER TO A TANTRIC MASSAGE

Tantric massage is an intricate practice, with a long history. It is defined as; a unique experience in which affectionate and refined touch is used in order to open and relax. But it is so much more than that. Much more than the scope of this post can cover.

You can take the time to research this ancient art, if you like. And then choose how on board you want to get with it. However, that is not ground you can cover before the holiday.

So I’ll clue you in on a few basic points.

A warm and sensual atmosphere is pretty par for the course with this art. Think candles, mood lighting, and deep musky scents. Both partners are usually unclothed. And tactile sensation is important; use oils, silk scarves, etc …

The idea is to massage, gently caress, and lightly tantalize your partner for extended periods of time without holding orgasm as the end goal. Cover every inch of their body in this time. Leave nothing untouched. An hour per partner is likely longer than you will find enjoyable if you have never participated in anything like this practice before. But it is not an unreasonable goal either. The bottom line is only you and your partner know how long you want to set your session for. Talk it out. And then commit to a time frame for this new experience. It is one that is going to stand the test of time in your relationship. It really is!

HAVE A PICNIC IN BED

Set the stage (your bedroom) for a romantic interlude. Whip up a little picnic. Complete with basket if you prefer. Lay out some beautiful cloth on the bed. And indulge!

Keep the food light. Make the drinks indulgent. Champagne is always nice, if you drink. Good wine. Or even whiskey if that’s your thing.

If you don’t partake of alcohol, then make something special with club soda, fruit/fruit juice, and perhaps a few herb sprigs.

TRADE YOUR NIGHT OUT FOR A NIGHT IN

I know couples who go out for Valentine’s Day just because they feel it’s expected of them. The truth is neither partner is all that interested in celebrating this holiday in a traditional way. Sometimes, not in any way at all. And yet, they do. Because they feel they would be letting their significant other down if they didn’t.

If neither partner gives a crap about heading out into the world to declare your love for another. Don’t. Stay home. And do something that you both find gratifying.

I have no way of knowing just what that might be. But a few suggestions that come to mind are; enjoy some fondue together, watch a few movies, play a few board games, or just visit with one another in the way you would with an old friend on a weekend away. Sounds divine, doesn’t it?!?!

CREATE A SENSUAL BATH FOR EACH OTHER

The ancients of Greece and Rome both utilized communal baths in their cultures. The term they used for this practice was, “taking the waters” together. And it was an incredibly important part of their lives. Nearly as important as their spirituality.

There was an erotic element to this practice, for sure. But it was also a time of union in a non-sexual way. A time used to connect to others in the way that only nudity can encourage, with deep vulnerability. Sometimes, even a time to nurture one another via acts of pampering, such as; brushing/washing one anothers hair or washing each others backs.

Get together with your significant other and plan to partake in a communal bathing ritual for Valentine’s Day this year.

Create a space of peace and tranquility for yourselves, using scent, candlelight, music and flowers. And be sure to have plenty of oils, sponges/loofas, and deeply hydrating beverages available as well.

That about covers the 6 suggestions I have for your Valentine’s celebrations this year. I’m betting that at least one of them is going to be just what you need to make this year special.

Take a minute to let me know what you think in the comments. It’s ALWAYS great to get your feedback on posts. It helps me know that the work I’m doing is meaningful. And it often provides me with fresh insights and new directions for my work.

And … connect with me on facebook and pinterest to stay abreast of any other happenings here at Bohemian Apothecarist.

As always, your presence is greatly appreciated. I adore that you are here. And I just know that we are going to have great fun together ❤