RULES TO LIVE BY ~ MY THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES

We all have rules we live by. Some of us may be more cognizant of them than others. But we all have them nonetheless. You’ve heard people state them many times.

“Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.”

“Don’t mistake making a living with making a life.”

“Get comfortable in your own skin.”

These, and several others, are all ‘life rules’ I respect. And I actually employ them pretty regularly in my own life. But they are not the ones that have had the most impact on me. You know, the ones that literally took my breath away for a few moments when I first heard them. Like really heard them.

There are three life rules which qualify for that status in my world. I live by them almost infallibly. AND today I’d like to share them with you, in hopes that they have the same profound effect on you that they have had on me. They make my life better! I want to spread that around 😉

1) YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU

The way that you respond to how people treat you literally shapes their future behavior toward you.

If you are being treated in a way that displeases you, than it is paramount that you remember the only behavior you can change is your own. You cannot make another person behave differently. However, you can certainly change the way you react to them. Don’t react neutrally. And don’t react positively. React negatively.

Remember not to ‘overreact’ negatively, as this will not benefit you. Remain calm. Don’t lose your patience. Voice your displeasure, and move on with your day. If their behavior has ‘ruffled your feathers’, try to keep that under wraps. Not doing so, will only feed their flame.

When your reaction changes, their behavior must change also. It really must. Sometimes this means that they will remove themselves from your space. AND I think that’s an acceptable solution as well. Don’t you?

Obviously, if the situation is serious enough you will want to make removing yourself from their space the way you change your reaction. Remain calm. Don’t lose your patience. Voice your displeasure (or not in abusive situations), and move on with your life. Do not maintain contact with them if they are abusive in nature. It will only feed their flame.

I have used this technique in my life from the moment it was taught to me. It works pretty damn reliably. It is harder to employ in personal situations where behavioral patterns are already set. BUT with steadfast patience and consistent responses it can absolutely be done.

2) LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE

We are not meant to sit back and allow life to ‘happen to us’. We are creating this life we live, and we need to choose each step of our path with intention.

I know that some of you are saying, “You don’t get it, Diane Gail. All of these things are going on in my life and I can’t just ignore them. I have to deal with them. Life is happening to me. I can’t just stop that. What am I supposed to do?”

My response to you is this …

Choose one or two things that you want in your life. And then do them ‘on purpose’. They can be large or small. Both are doable. Small can be implemented. Large can be tackled in little bite size chunks.

I have been practicing this life rule for quite some time. So, I now have many things in my life which have been intentionally chosen and implemented. As well as many that I have been chipping away at for some time. The result is that a rather large portion of my current life has evolved from the act of ‘living life on purpose’. And that is just the way I like it.

However, I recall the early days of trying to get this practice in place. It wasn’t easy! But it gets easier. I promise 😉 Once you decide to make a few things that are important to you a priority, the Universe begins to assist you in ways which cannot be explained or imagined. She is faithful like that.

So choose something and do it on purpose. Set it right up among the things which are most important to you. And get started on making it happen. Then choose another. And then another. And then … well you get the idea 😉

Before you know it, you will be living the beautiful life you’ve always dreamed of. A life you have chosen on purpose.

3) QUIT EXPLAINING YOURSELF

It is not necessary to explain your choices, or your reasons for them, to others. People are only able to understand the world around them as it appears through the lens of their own experiences. If they do not ‘get it’ when you try explaining your choices to them, then no amount of clarification will make them understand.

And exactly why are you explaining anyway?

If it is because you need their acceptance, you are spinning your wheels needlessly. You cannot obtain acceptance from someone who isn’t even able to wrap their head around what you’re trying to do/choose.

If it is because you are simply excited about some new thought process or activity you’ve discovered, and you want to share it with others, then by all means share away. But the very minute you see someone’s eyes glaze over, drop the subject and move on to a conversation you can both participate in. Likewise, if you give a full explanation to someone about your interest and they respond in a way that doesn’t even remotely connect to what you’ve just said, move on. They don’t get it. AND that’s OK!

People are having their own experience in this world. Each of them is walking their very own path. And there is no way that they will understand the paths of every other person they meet.

So, with that thought in mind, if you find yourself feeling a bit disturbed by the fact that people don’t ‘get what you’re doing’, you may want to take a look at where that’s coming from. Perhaps, you are so wrapped up in them understanding your choices that you are not considering where they are on their own journey. In other words, you are doing to them the very thing you do not want them to do to you. It’s pretty ironic really. Could it be that you are the one who doesn’t ‘get it’?

This life rule set me free in a multitude of ways. The most important thing that it brought to my life was being able to make choices without concern over the opinion of others.

I choose. I implement. My decision. If someone supports my choice great. If they don’t, no matter. When someone who is close to me doesn’t support a choice I have made, I simply avoid making it part of our interactions. Issue solved!

And that’s it … 3 non-negotiable life rules that are game-changers for sure!

Do you relate to these life rules? Do you practice any of them in your own life? Let me know in the comments. Or, perhaps, you have a life rule of your own that you would like to share with me? I’d love to hear about it 😉

And … connect with me on facebook, instagram, and pinterest to stay abreast of any other happenings here at Bohemian Apothecarist.

As always, your presence is greatly appreciated. I adore that you are here. And I just know that we are going to have great fun together ❤

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